


Signs from the Grave

by Greeneyesblue



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 16:45:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7765453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greeneyesblue/pseuds/Greeneyesblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick comes online in one of the most traumatic and violent circumstances imaginable for a sentinel, but he doesn't come away unscathed. Traumatic single sense collapse, the doctors call it. Now Nick has to figure out how to move forward and live his life, forever changed, as both a human and a sentinel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nick blinked away the drugged feeling as he woke. He was disoriented and as his eyes adjusted to the light, tried to sit up only to find himself restricted to a small space in which he was lying on his back. He felt around the Plexiglas box and took stock of his surroundings. He found the glow sticks, tape recorder, and gun. The gun was loaded; he checked. Taking a look around him with the glow stick, panic started to take hold. There was nothing but dirt surrounding the plastic box.

Before the panic could get him too far out of his head, he remembered the tape recorder and hit play. The voice that emerges from the tinny speakers is chilling.

“Hi, CSI guy. You wondering why you’re here? Because you followed the evidence. Because that’s what CSI’s do. So breathe quick, breathe slow, put your gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you’re going to die here. Okay.”

As the voice faded, the panic took over and Nick couldn't help but struggle to free himself even if somewhere the logical part of his brain knew it was futile. Coffin. It’s a coffin, and he was trapped here alive. Nick doesn’t register much thought beyond the blinding fear as he broke down and sobbing and screaming into the box.

Nick felt more disoriented now, as his sobs eventually quieted, than he did when he first woke. Calming down enough to think for a bit, he took stock of his situation once more. He found he had a pounding headache and everything felt a bit off. His skin was crawling with sensation, but he could see there was nothing physically out of place. The smell of earth was overwhelming now that he registered it. The one lit glow stick seemed almost too bright in the small space.

As he lay there, the fear began to surge again and he lost some time just trying to breathe. He couldn't think around the pit that was forming in his stomach over the reality that he would die here. He was buried alive. How would anyone find him? How much air did he have?

All these thoughts reverberated in his head until suddenly, he was momentarily blinded by a light turning on by his feet. He blinked as his eyes adjusted. He didn't know why the light had come on, but he screamed and railed against the box nonetheless in the vain hope that someone could hear him.

Time passed and the light kept turning off only to be turned back on shortly afterward. Nick calmed himself by trying to figure out how or why it was happening. Each time the light turned back on it seemed brighter than the last and his eyes burned with it. When the light turned off he could hear the whir of a fan kicking on.

After a few cycles of this, he realized he was smelling different odors when the fan turned on. They came on strong suddenly when the fan kicked in, and through the haze of panic, Nick realized they were outdoor smells. Not the earthy smells around him, but fresh air being pumped in.

Maybe he had more time to live than he thought. A brief moment of hope flared in Nick’s chest before the light came on again, and he screamed out his frustration. His eyes burned and his skin itched with the change in air flow in the box. His headache made itself known again as the echoes of his yell reverberated in his ears. He lay panting in the aftermath, wishing desperately for the fan to turn back on.

He had to fix this. He couldn’t live long in here if the fan kept turning off. He had no idea why or how the light was turning on, but it was pulling power from the fan every time it did. He could hear every whir and click of the fan struggling under the reduced power. Then, another blessed break as the light went off momentarily again. It was only a few seconds this time before the light was back.

“No,” Nick cried softly, tone of despair threading his shaky voice.

He had to stop the light. He felt around him and took stock of what he had once again. Remembering a pack of gum in his back pocket, he chewed a couple pieces and packed them in his ears as makeshift earplugs. Finding the gun he slowly brought it to his chest and concentrated on focusing his eyes amidst the burning brightness of the light to find his target. He wasn't sure this would work, but he couldn't really rationalize any other scenario that would make his circumstances less risky. He needed that fan on to breathe if he was going to live long enough for anyone to find him.

Taking a calming breath, Nick pointed the gun toward the light at his feet, squinting as he took aim. He squeezed the trigger and closed his eyes as the deafening noise overwhelmed him and pain washed over him. He couldn’t breathe for a moment because everything was too much. A rush of white noise consumed his awareness, and he blinked at the spikes of color invading his vision even through closed eyelids. He hurt all over and could feel everywhere his clothes touched his body and everywhere his body made contact with the box.

In a brief moment of coherent thought, Nick figured he must be having some kind of panic attack, because he was so overwhelmed by everything around him. He felt around clumsily for a glow stick and cracked one, trying to get his vision under control and adjusted to the green glowing light. Time passed as he just tried to breathe through the pain coming from all directions. The fan stayed on, and he stayed alive, but in a haze of pain and confusing sensations.

The white noise never faded, and he wondered if that was real or a product of his panic attack. He felt vibrations through the box and cried out. Maybe someone was digging him out. Maybe they had found him. Nick couldn’t hear himself yelling above the static, but he tried anyway. His brief hope turned to horror though as he felt the bottom of the box collapsing and dirt surrounding his feet. The gunshot had cracked the box and it was going to collapse around him.

Nick was trying to breathe and think of anything he could do, when he felt it. The scraping crawling sensation was intense on his leg under his pants. His skin had never stopped feeling every brush of fabric and plastic, and the disturbing sensation of something crawling on it was too much to process. Nick jerked as he felt more movement on his skin.

He squinted through the green glow to look down at his legs and realized with a groan that ants were crawling on him through the disturbed earth. He hurried to stuff parts of a latex glove from his pocket into his nostrils, but the biting had already started. The pain was unlike anything he had felt before. It was excruciating on his strangely sensitive skin, and after a few moments the intensity caused his consciousness to fade and he had a momentary thought of gratitude as he mercifully passed out.

~~~~~

Gil was sick with worry, and could feel the same from everyone around him as his shields wavered. Most people thought he was emotional stunted and were surprised to find out he was a guide, but really, he just kept his emotions locked down most of the time to help him maintain his shields and shelter himself from the wild range of emotions he encountered on the job every day. Now though, there was hope making itself at home in his chest as they dug around the vent pipe for Nick’s box they had located at a nursery just outside Las Vegas.

He held back the strange wave of jealousy as Warrick was first to jump in the hole and brush away the dirt to see Nick.

“He’s not responsive, but he’s alive!” Warrick yelled back at them. “I can hear his heartbeat.”

Warrick was a sentinel and had bonded with Catherine soon after they met. Catherine was a very steady and approachable presence as a guide. Gil figured that was why she was often so good at speaking with victims and why she was close friends with so many in the department, Nick included. Warrick was very stable in the field, and he and Catherine didn’t need to work all their cases together because of that. Gil didn’t want to examine too closely why having someone else near Nick right now was setting him on edge, and pushed the odd feelings back as he concentrated on how to take care of getting him out.

With Gil’s instruction, Warrick and Greg worked to kill the ants quickly with the fire extinguisher, hoping that would ease Nick’s pain and be enough to bring him around. As they were getting ready to open the cover all the way, Warrick suddenly called a halt.

“Stop! Everyone get back!” He said pushing Greg away. “I smell explosives!”

Catherine rushed down to Warrick despite his protests and laid her hand on his back, grounding him.

“I can help you figure out what kind of bomb it is. We don’t have any time to waste trying to figure it out another way, because the battery ran out on the fan. He’s running out of air as we speak.”

“All right, Cath. Just don’t stay longer than you have to.” It was obvious that Warrick didn’t like putting his guide in danger like this.

Warrick stilled and concentrated on the information he could gather. He closed his eyes after a moment, and Catherine moved to put her hand in contact directly with his skin just under the back of his shirt. He was stretching his senses as far as he could to determine what the explosives were and how they were rigged. Just as Gil thought perhaps he had zoned, Catherine quietly spoke Warrick’s name, and he blinked as he came back to himself.

“I can’t hear any timing mechanism. It smells like Semtex. Not a lot, but enough that it would kill anyone in the box or directly nearby. What the trigger is, I’m not sure.”

Everyone was silent for a moment as that sank in, and Warrick herded Catherine out of the hole ahead of him. Nick was still unconscious, but Gil figured now that the ants were dead he would be coming around any minute. Then he had a terrifying thought.

“It’s on a pressure sensor.”

“What?” Catherine said, a bit shakily.

“It must be on a pressure sensor if Rick can’t hear a timing mechanism. He’s toying with us again. He wants us to lose Nick again just after we’ve found him.”

The others looked at each other with dread at the implications, but Gil was already forming a plan and took control as it took shape in his mind.

“Get the backhoe over here! We need about 200 pounds of dirt in it. Someone find a rope and carabiner. We’re going to pull him out.”

Gil slid down into the hole then and trusted his people to get everything in place. He knew that if Nick was awake when they opened the box and sat up, that it could all be over. He brushed back the dirt and laid his hands on the Plexiglas. It looked like Nick was beginning to stir, but he appeared very disoriented and was keeping his eyes tightly closed. Gil figured he didn’t realize the ants were dead yet, but if he was awake, he needed to make sure Nick wouldn’t move until they were ready.

Grissom knocked on the box, hoping Nick would hear it and register his presence. He thought Nick must not have realized where the knocking was coming from because he began to panic again, thrashing in place.

“Nick! Nicky! Can you hear me?”

Nick doesn’t appear to hear Gil at all and continues to hyperventilate and struggle in the box. He didn't like to have to do it, but saw no other way. Gil pushed a wave of calming emotion at Nick as forcefully as he could, hoping it would get his attention without sending him into further panic. Nick responded immediately by opening his eyes and staring directly at Grissom. He blinked and squinted a bit, appearing to adjust his eyes, but Gil could see the moment his presence registered, because Nick instantly stilled and slowly brought a hand up to press against the one Gill still had placed flat against the box.

“Can you hear me, Nicky?”

Again, he got no response.

“Here,” Warrick tossed a notepad with pen down to Grissom. “Maybe his hearing is out of whack from the gunshot.”

Gil took the pen and hastily scribbled a note, pressing it against the box where Nick could read it when he’s done.

“Going to open box. Don’t move. Bomb underneath,” it read.

Gil knew Nick understood when his eyes widened in fear, but Nick nodded his head in agreement, so Gil called Warrick down to help him get the cover off. As soon as Warrick pulled the cover off, Gil reached in and place his hand on Nick’s chest, holding him in place. He had to pause to steady himself at the rush of feedback he gets in that moment. He felt all of Nick’s fear and pain and panic at once, and it’s more real and heartbreaking than he could have imagined.

Nick is oddly silent aside from gasping breaths of fresh air. When Gil can open his eyes again he locks onto Nick’s and sees the open trust displayed there. Warrick helped him get the rope hooked to Nick’s belt and then Gil quickly sent more calm to Nick and backed out of the hole to hold the rope with everyone else. Gil motioned to Nick to hold his breath with hand gestures, and when he saw him comply, called for the backhoe to dump the small load of dirt.

The moment the dirt cascaded down on Nick, they pulled him free, and then Gil and everyone nearby hit the ground as the explosives went off in the hole. As Gil coughed through the dust in the air and looked around he could see Catherine helping Warrick steady his sense of hearing after the loud explosion, and the rest of the team checking in with each other. He doesn’t spare much more than a moment on the others though as he is drawn to make sure Nick is alive.

Nick had hit the ground hard, but was awake and clumsily trying to wipe the dirt from his eyes. Gil moved to kneel next to him as he heard Catherine calling for the paramedics. He grabbed Nick’s hands and gently reached out to wipe more dirt from his face.

“It’s ok, Nicky. We got you. We got you back.”

Nick stared up at him, but didn't say anything for a moment.

“Nick, you’re out. We got you out,” Gil tried again.

Nick’s breathing sped up a bit and he was starting to look a little panicked again.

“I can’t hear you. Gris, I can’t hear you!”

Nick said it loudly enough that Warrick and Catherine, still standing a few feet away heard him. Gil doesn’t know how to comfort Nick in the face of that revelation. It could just be residual damage from the gunshot, but after having made skin contact, Gil knows it’s much more than that. Nick is an online sentinel, and if he was online when that gun went off in the box, he could have caused himself permanent damage.

Gil rubbed Nick’s shoulder soothingly, and looked up to give instructions.

“Rick, Catherine, go with him to the hospital. I need to get the scene processed, then I’ll check in with you later.”

Gil knew Catherine’s presence would be calming for Nick right now. He stood as the paramedics arrived with a stretcher for Nick. When he broke their physical contact it’s all he can do to not reach back out for Nick, but he turned and forced himself to walk away. Away from his sentinel. All this time he and Nick had worked together and now Nick had come online in such traumatic circumstances that he wasn’t even able to recognize Gil as his guide.

Grissom paused and took a moment to close his eyes and breathe, shoring up his shields and preparing to keep moving. There was work to be done, and Nick was in good hands, even if they weren't his.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick woke suddenly on high alert. He opened his eyes only to close them again against the lights that seemed so bright. He took a calming breath and tried again.

This time he managed to keep his eyes open long enough to take in his surroundings. He wasn't in the box, the realization of which calmed him somewhat. He was in a dimly lit hospital room. The air smelled and tasted odd, and his skin still felt raw and irritated under the hospital gown and blankets.

As he looked around, he realized he was in a sentinel friendly room. Nick idly wondered why he would be in a sentinel friendly hospital room instead of a room for mundanes, but didn't have enough energy to follow the thought further. All he could hear at the moment was a rushing white noise. He assumed there was a white noise machine in his room as part of the accommodations for sentinels.

Nick was tired, but before he could drift off again, a nurse entered followed by his parents. His mother immediately came to his bedside and took his hand. He flinched back from the painful contact, and his mother frowned. Nick felt bad for shying away from his momma, but everything still felt so intense and painful, he couldn't really help it.

He squinted into the lights as he looked up at his father, despite their dim setting. Nick could see Cisco’s mouth moving, but couldn't hear him. He frowned and spoke.

“Could you turn off that white noise machine?”

Nick immediately could tell something was wrong. He couldn't hear himself at all, but his parents had winced as if he had spoken too loudly. They both had expressions of worry on their faces, which only made Nick more uncomfortable. He couldn't hear them. He couldn't hear anything.

The panic that held him so completely when he was in the box returned quickly. He couldn't hear anything. Everything felt wrong. Everything was too much. His thoughts spiraled like this until he saw the nurse come rushing back into the room and inject something into his IV line. If he wasn't already on his way to a panic attack, he would have protested. Instead he felt the drugs hit his system and his eyelids felt immediately heavy. He let the blackness take him under, because it was easier than dealing with the world right now.

Nick was starting to hate waking up. Here he was again blinking the pain away and wondering where he was this time. As he became aware that he was still in his hospital room, the reality of what happened earlier came back and his fear started to ramp up. Before he could work himself into a full blown panic yet again, there was someone grabbing his hand. He immediately felt calmer and was pulled out of his tumultuous thoughts to observe the room.

His parents were gone. Nick wasn't surprised. Acknowledging life wasn't perfect was practically unheard of in the Stokes family, and it would take some time for them to get over this mess. The room was empty except for the person holding his hand.

Grissom. He turned and met Gil’s eyes. They were troubled, but didn't hold the pity and unease of his parents’ looks earlier. The next revelation Nick had was that Gil's touch didn't bother him like his mother’s had. Everything still felt off with his world and his body. He was disoriented in ways he never had been before, but here was Gil with his presence calming as ever.

"Gris,” Nick attempted through a sleep roughened voice.

He didn’t know if he had spoken at an appropriate volume, but it got Gil’s attention. Nick saw Gil trying to say something to him, but he couldn’t hear anything besides the vague white noise that had become his constant companion. He shook his head, and Gil briefly released him to rummage around the small cabinet in the room before returning with a pad and pen. He didn’t grab Nick’s hand again, and Nick restrained himself from seeking out that strangely soothing touch. He didn’t want to seem needy in front of this man he respected.  
  
Grissom was a mid-level guide, and an extraordinary man in many ways beyond that. Nick had been drawn to him from the moment they met, and he had always pushed himself to be deserving of working for the man. He took everything Gil taught him to heart, and had, he hoped, become a great CSI because of it. As the years passed and Nick got to know him as more than a boss and mentor, they began to be friendly and dance around something more. Nick knew Gil was a guide though, and they were both hesitant to start something that may be forcefully ended if he ever found his sentinel.  
  
Nick came from a family with no sentinels or guides in their lineage, and was as mundane as they came, as far as he knew. He couldn’t hope to satisfy the need Gil had for a sentinel, even if he desperately wanted to. While most people seemed surprised to find out such a solitary and guarded individual was a guide, Nick knew better. Beneath the professional exterior, Gil was a passionate man that cared deeply about his friends and had a clear longing, as most guides did, for one day finding the other half of his soul. They had settled into a comfortable friendship over time, and Nick gladly accepted it as the most he would ever have of Gil.  
  
Grissom had been writing and now showed Nick the notepad.  
  
_Can’t hear? Nurse said doc was coming to speak with you soon._  
  
Nick nodded. Then held out his hand for the notepad, and wrote his response when it was handed to him.  
  
_How is the case? Who took me? Why?_  
  
Nick could see Gil’s chest rising and falling in a long sigh and could almost feel the disturbance of air as he looked at the words, but he knew no one would be more honest with him than Gil Grissom, and he was banking on that now. He had to know why. He had to know what happened. He had to know if anyone else was in danger. He had to know he was safe. The response came after a few minutes of carefully considered words written on the page.  
  
_Walter Gordon. Daughter serving 5 years for accessory to murder because her DNA evidence was found at scene. He wanted revenge against the CSI’s. Blamed them. Wasn’t targeting you specifically. Would have taken whoever got to that scene. We got the case wrapped up, and I came here as soon as it was done._  
  
Nick’s hand shook a bit as he held the notebook. He had to know what happened to the man, so he passed the notebook back to Gil with a look that said he should continue. Gil wrote for a few seconds and showed him the pad again.  
  
_Asked for ransom in the beginning. I took him money, but he had bomb and blew himself up when I got there._  
  
As soon as Nick saw the words, he looked up at Gil in alarm. He grabbed the pen and wrote forcefully.  
  
_You hurt?_  
  
Gil shook his head decisively, and Nick relaxed back into the bed in relief, satisfied for now knowing that he was safe from that lunatic and no one else was hurt. Just then the doctor entered the room, a laptop under his arm. Gil stood to step away from bed, but the doctor dismissed his action with a wave and he settled into his seat next to Nick again. Nick took the moment to indulge his need for reassurance and reached for Gil’s hand, which grasped his comfortingly in return.

The doctor wheeled over the bed table and placed the laptop on it where they all could see the screen. He took a moment to introduce himself to Gil, and Nick watched them shake hands. Then the doctor opened a blank document and began typing on the screen.  
  
_My name is Dr. Michael O’Toole. I thought this would be the fastest and easiest way to communicate at this point._  
  
He waited a beat for Nick to read it, and when Nick met his eyes in acknowledgement, he continued typing. Nick was grateful he didn’t reach out to shake his hand. He was still unsure about physical contact with anything that wasn’t Gil’s hand held in his.  
  
_Do you want to start with questions? Or would you like me to start telling you about your condition?_  
  
“Tell me everything. I just want to know what’s going on,” Nick replied. He guessed his volume was about right this time, because neither man in the room reacted adversely. Dr. O’Toole angled the computer toward himself and typed for a couple minutes before turning it back for them to view.  
  
_Because of the nature of your case, I’ve been briefed on the events and timeline of what happened to you. You came online as a sentinel while you were buried alive. Probably relatively early on in your ordeal. It’s effectively as if your sense dials were blown wide open and then stayed held there by your panic. All of which is very understandable considering the traumatic situation in which you came online.  
  
When you discharged the gun into the light, you were hearing so much without filtering it through your dials that you destroyed both eardrums physically and any theoretical control you had over regulating your sense of hearing. We call the condition traumatic single sense collapse. I apologize for putting it bluntly, but you are now permanently deaf. You may hear constant white noise or something similar due to the fact that you have no way to filter sounds even once your eardrums heal. Unfortunately, given the damage to your eardrums, little beneficial healing is likely to take place.  
  
Feel free to ask any questions you have._  
  
As Nick read his eyebrows predictably rose, but as he reached the part about the single sense collapse and his hearing being permanently damaged, his forehead creased with concern. His breathing sped up as the fear began to set in. His whole life would be different now. No one in his family was a sentinel or guide, and he knew little beyond the basic public education system teaching on the subject. He had to learn how to be a sentinel, and he had to learn how to live as a deaf person at the same time. As he tried to breathe through the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest, he idly wondered if this anxiety close to the surface was here to stay as well.  
  
Then, there were hands on either side of his face. Comforting, familiar hands. And blue eyes invaded his vision. Gil was saying something, but Nick could only see his mouth moving. He met those calm blue eyes and stared into their depths until he could almost feel himself getting lost in them. Then they were pulling away and at the same time, fingernails were gently scraping across his scalp through his hair.  
  
The change in sensation pulled him from what he was almost sure was becoming a zone. Gil was still here. He could do this. He could keep going and learn to live like this.  
  
The doctor had stayed in the room through the whole ordeal and when Nick had recovered and Gil was seated in his chair by Nick’s bed once again, he spoke. He and Gil exchanged a few words, and then the doctor leaned in to type for Nick’s benefit.  
  
_I’ve asked Dr. Grissom to stay with you while you are here, and he has agreed. He has a calming effect on you that none of the other guide nurses or any other visitors have had, and I’d rather not have to resort to sedating you again if there are other ways to stop a panic attack. Another option would be to try guide conservators from the S &G Center, but considering your prior relationship with Dr. Grissom, I think that would be most comfortable for you._  
  
Nick looked to Gil, but saw no resentment or concern in his expression, so he slowly nodded his head in agreement.  
  
_Any other questions for now? I’d like to you continue to try to rest. It will help get your remaining senses under control and you still have physical injuries and stresses to recover from as well._  
  
“No.” Nick spoke through a throat that felt rough with emotion.  
  
The doctor stood, gathering his computer, and waved as he left the room. As soon as they were alone, Nick spoke again.  
  
“I’m sorry you’re stuck babysitting a broken sentinel.” Nick closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the pillow for a moment before continuing. “Shit, Gil. I had no idea I would ever come online as a sentinel. I never even tested latent. Now look at me. An anxiety filled mess who will never be whole as a sentinel or a human.”  
  
Nick was stopped abruptly by a fist coming down on the bedside table, sending vibrations through it. Gil reached for the notepad they had been using earlier with a frown on his face.  
  
_Stop! You are not broken. As man or a sentinel. You are still the man I know. I can’t imagine what you did to get out of that box sane, but I respect the hell out of you for doing it. I’m selfishly grateful to have you back in any condition. You are still you. You are still Nicky. You will figure this out._  
  
Nick’s eyes were moist, but he matched Gil’s determined gaze.  
  
“Thank you, Gris.”  
  
Gil wrote one word on the notepad and tapped it with the pen.  
  
_Sleep_.  
  
“I feel like I’ve been sleeping for days,” Nick replied, but a yawn caught him as he spoke, and he conceded a small smile of acknowledgement as he met Gil’s amused smirk. He sighed and shifted his weight carefully to try to find a comfortable position without moving his skin against his gown and blankets too much. He closed his eyes as he settled, realizing Gil’s fingers were once again raking gently through his hair.  
  
It didn’t take long for Nick to drift back to sleep. Gil expected he was just as emotionally fatigued as physically at this point. He sighed as he gazed down on the handsome face, still marred by red ant bites. How Nick had even survived the ordeal as a sentinel pulled traumatically online was frankly astounding. Gil knew it was because Nick was such a strong person, even if Nick himself didn’t feel that way right now. Anyone else would have collapsed under the fear and pain.  
  
Gil wished more than anything that he could crawl into Nick’s bed and surround him with physical and empathic comfort. He knew from what Nick’s parents told him as they were leaving that he wasn’t tolerating touch from anyone else so far. He sighed and wondered if Nick could tell at all that Gil was his. Maybe the trauma of how he came online and his lack of training made it harder for him to recognize his guide. With that thought, Gil reprimanded himself. It’s not like Nick was in a position to bond right now anyway. At the very least he needed to heal physically, and begin some emotional healing from the incident as well. On top of that he had to learn to live without hearing and have some training as a sentinel.  
  
The path forward for Nick was going to be challenging, there was no doubt about that. Gil stood to leave the room a moment and make a couple of phone calls. He had notified the Las Vegas S&G Center of Nick coming online, but had yet to update them on his condition. He also now had an idea of who might be uniquely suited to help Nick recover and train.  
  
He dealt with the S&G Center first, updating the director on Nick’s status and single sense collapse. He discussed his thoughts on training, and the director agreed, giving him leeway to make the request. Gil paused for a moment after hanging up before dialing a number he had been calling for years.  
  
“Gibbs-Dinozzo residence, this is Jethro’s more handsome half speaking.”  
  
Gil couldn’t help but chuckle and take a deep breath in relief at Tony’s voice. He had met Gibbs at a forensics conference years ago, and they had remained friends since. Gibbs had bonded with his guide Tony shortly after running into him at a crime scene in Baltimore, and they’d been a fantastic team ever since. They were both Alphas and had accepted the Northeast region as their territory. They still worked in law enforcement for NCIS, and had developed a successful team by balancing their very different personality types to guide and mentor other agents. Gil was frankly jealous of how well the pair fit.  
  
“Tony, it’s Gil.”  
  
“Hey, Gris! How have you been? Jethro misses you, man. You should come out and visit soon!”  
  
“I’m sort of calling on business today, sorry. Is Jethro around? Can you both get on the call?”  
  
Gil heard a click as Jethro picked up and got right to the point, as was his manner.  
  
“You have something going on down there?”  
  
“Jethro. Yeah. One of my CSI’s was kidnapped and buried alive.”  
  
“Fuck!” Tony interjected, but Jethro cleared his throat before Tony could keep going.  
  
“It was Nick. We got him out, but he came online as a sentinel while he was in there. Long story short, at one point he used a gun the kidnapper left in the box with him to shoot out a light to keep his ventilation fan running. The doctor says he went into single sense collapse and he’ll be permanently deaf.”  
  
“Gil, I’m sorry.” Jethro might not be one to talk freely, but he said the things that were important.  
  
“He’s ok. He’s alive. That’s what matters.” Gil took a calming breath and continued. “I have been in touch with the S&G director for Las Vegas and he agreed to an idea I had to help Nick. I know you two have a lot of responsibilities there, but I think you might be uniquely suited to help Nick train, as a sentinel and as a person who is now deaf.”  
  
There was a pause as both men on the other end of the phone absorbed the information. After a wait that seemed longer than it probably was, Jethro came back on the line.  
  
“Tony is already making the calls the clear our schedule for the next couple weeks. We could bring him to the cabin. How are his other senses right now? Is he physically injured?”  
  
Gil breathed a sigh of relief and gratitude for such loyal friends. “His other senses are uncontrolled at this point. He’s finding it hard to tolerate bright light and touch. My guess is that taste and smell are no better, but he hasn’t really been awake long enough to accurately assess that. He is recovering from some fire ant bites and some general bruising, but nothing more serious physically.”  
  
“Ok, we can work with that. We’ll come to you tomorrow, and then fly with him back to the cabin. Hopefully having a guide as strong as Tony around will buffer his senses enough he can make the trip in relative comfort. How much sentinel training has he had? Did he have the basics for latent sentinels?”  
  
“No. He never tested as latent. No one in his family has ever come online before.”

“Wow. Ok, it’s going to be intense getting him trained in basic control, and we’ll start adding ASL on top of that right away. I’m sure his lack of ability to communicate is not helping his emotional state right now.”  
  
“You nailed it exactly, I think, Jethro. He bleeds anxiety all the time, and it’s worse when he knows someone is speaking, but he can’t hear them. It’s why I called you two. I can’t begin to express how grateful I am to you for doing this for Nick.”  
  
Jethro sighed loud enough that Gil could hear it through the connection. “It sounds like a good man and sentinel has been through a really horrible experience, and it’s the least we can do for one of our own.”  
  
“Thank you.” Gil didn’t know what else he could say.  
  
“Tony or I will be in touch with our flight information,” Jethro said before pausing in a way that had Gil wondering if he had figured him out yet. “Take care of him, Gil.”  
  
Gil hung up before he could reveal any more of himself to his friend. He didn’t want to add any stress to Nick’s life right now, and he didn’t want Jethro and Tony pushing them toward something Nick wasn’t ready for. Nick deserved better after everything. Nick deserved to feel like he had at least a part of himself back before Gil could ask anything more of him than their continued friendship. He slipped back into the room quietly, and once again took up his post in the chair beside Nick’s bed.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Nicky. I hope this will help.”


	3. Chapter 3

Nick woke slowly, breathing in the air scented with wood smoke and the forest around the cabin. He had been here for a week now, and gradually became comfortable enough not to wake in a panic. He was actually enjoying the soothing surroundings and the calm the bonded pair exuded.

Tony and Gibbs had been a pleasant surprise. Tony kept things light when Nick needed a laugh or to just be pulled out of the anxiety that still plagued him, but he was also intuitive and thoughtful and highly intelligent. Jethro was gruff on the exterior, but was open and caring with those he considered close friends. It was clear that Jethro considered Grissom a close friend, and by extension Nick. There was no questioning the alpha status of the pair, even if they didn’t appear so at first glance.

The training regimen they implemented had been pretty intense. A crash course in being a sentinel took up a fair part of their mornings. Mostly this was done via reading and typing or writing back and forth when Nick had questions. Then some meditation and visualization after lunch to help Nick stabilize his senses.

Later in the day Gibbs would work on teaching Nick some ASL. Tony had picked some up over the years, and he practiced with Nick, but Jethro was the most fluent. He never said why or how he learned, and Nick didn’t pry. He got the impression there were certain things in Jethro’s life that he was intensely private about.

Nick still struggled with almost everything in his new life. His remaining functional senses were barely controlled. He had shaved his head and all of his body hair in an effort to minimize skin irritation. He was considering getting his body hair permanently removed when he got back to Vegas. He also still struggled with bright light. He wore sunglasses almost constantly the first few days and still needed them to be outdoors.

Taste had been touch and go in the hospital, but had since become much better, thanks to Tony’s cooking. He claimed he learned out of necessity for his picky sentinel, but Nick could tell he really enjoyed it. Both the process and the lavish compliments from his sentinel. The one thing Jethro was most open about was his love for his guide, and he expressed it at every opportunity, even if it was simply to thank him for a meal.

Nick had admitted to himself that he was jealous of the strong bond and evident love the pair shared. Since leaving the hospital and beginning the healing process, he had slowly become aware of the longing inside him for a guide. In his most honest moments with himself he even admitted that more than anything, he wanted Gil to be his guide. He kept those thoughts to himself though. He wasn’t a real sentinel. He was a broken one, and Grissom deserved better.

Nick was determined to learn as much as possible to reclaim his life. He could be a good CSI again if he could control his senses and learn to communicate. Even if he was never allowed back in the field, he could work in the lab. That’s the most he hoped for at this point. Getting back to his career and friends. He didn’t expect he’d be lucky enough to ever find a guide that wanted a sentinel with only four functioning senses, and he accepted that.

After a quiet breakfast with Tony—Jethro had already consumed half the pot of coffee and was out for a run—they sat down for some more studying.

“I have a question,” Nick asked before they could dig in to the subject Tony had picked for the day. He still spoke frequently even though he couldn't hear himself. He felt reasonably confident that he sounded relatively normal because the vibrations in his chest felt familiar and no one had flinched away from him recently.

Tony looked at him expectantly.

“Why am I still online at all? Why didn’t I go dormant when my hearing was damaged? Everything I’ve learned about sentinels says they are believed to have emerged to protect a tribe in a more primitive setting. How can I be fully equipped to protect a tribe, or even my guide, if I ever found one?”

Tony turned and pulled up a blank document on his laptop to type into. For long conversations it was still the fastest way to get Nick information.

_My best guess is that just as sentinels and guides evolved as protectors long ago when they were needed for basic survival, so they are evolving now. Right now in the world there are plenty of sentinels and guides proportional to the general population, and for the most part, they aren’t needed for primitive survival. You aren’t needed for protection from predators or warring tribes, so you can still be beneficial to your tribe without all five senses functioning at a high level.  
  
If you ever meet Alpha Prime Guide Blair Sandburg, you should ask him. I’m sure he has some ideas, and if not he would love to research it._  
  
Nick laughed as he read the last statement. Sandburg was famous within the sentinel and guide community as one half of the alpha prime pair for North America, and his love of academics was well known. Nick nodded his acceptance of the answer and they moved on to the topic Tony had picked for the day. Bonding. It was something Nick didn’t think would happen for him, but Tony was convinced he had just as much possibility as any other sentinel.  
  
They did some reading and exchanged some typed conversations and by the end of the morning Nick was feeling a little emotionally worn down. He knew Tony could probably sense it, but he couldn’t help himself. That part of him that longed for a bond was pulling at him fiercely, but he was still convinced he wouldn’t be a suitable bond mate for any guide. Fortunately, before Tony had a chance to ask Nick what was bothering him, Gibbs called them into the kitchen for lunch, and they sat down to sandwiches and soup. Nick just tried to be content to enjoy watching the other pair interact. Tony playfully teased his sentinel and drew him into conversation, and Jethro would sign most things he said with his hands for Nick’s benefit, but at this point he was only able to pick out familiar words here and there.   
  
After lunch, Nick wandered off to check his email. He had gotten a few from his colleagues, but he wasn’t really up to answering all of them right now. He had exchanged a few with Catherine though. She was probably his closest friend at the crime lab besides Grissom, and Nick hadn’t heard from him at all since leaving the hospital. He would be disappointed, but was almost relieved knowing that he wouldn’t have to face their relationship changing just yet. If they kept each other at arm’s length before because Nick was a mundane, he could only imagine how Gil would want even more space now that he was a sentinel, but not one Gil would want to bond with. Nick saw a lot of stilted formal interactions in their future.  
  
Catherine kept him updated on general news of the team and the lab. He told her the basics of how his recovery and training was going, but asked her not to share any details with everyone else. He was going to be ok and come back eventually, and that was all he wanted them knowing for the time being. Of course word of his single sense collapse had already spread, but that couldn’t be helped. His medical report was included with his statement to the police, and everyone from the lab had access to it.  
  
Today’s email from Cath included her venting about the foul mood Grissom had been in since Nick left. He sounded like he was being tougher on everyone than usual, and she even had to call him on projecting his frustration outward once already. She said since then he got his shields locked down tightly, but that he seemed no better as time went on. Nick had a thought that he needed to be there to comfort and stabilize Gil, but quickly squashed that idea as his useless pining for the man.  
  
Nick turned as he felt Tony enter the room. He discovered that he was recognizing the vibrations of footsteps early on, even with his sense of touch still spiking periodically, and was now able to tell Tony and Jethro’s walking cadence apart. Tony signed to him. He had a pretty basic vocabulary at this point, but he could understand what was said.  
  
_“You’re feeling down. Why?”_  
  
Nick sighed. “Catherine emailed. Things at the lab are tense.”  
  
He figured Tony saw through that as more diversion than real answer, but he didn’t care. Tony moved to the computer and pulled up a document and typed for a moment before allowing Nick to see.  
  
_Let’s meditate. I think you’re ready to try walking on the spirit plane now, and I’d like to try. We’ll do our usual meditation routine. Match my breaths. Stay focused on me. Then I’ll start pulling you with me to the spirit plane. Just feel that pull, and follow me along. You’ll probably be able to tell what I’m doing and get there yourself with a little practice._  
  
Nick agreed and they went to the plush rug in the living room to begin. Nick enjoyed their meditation sessions, and Tony found that amusing because so many sentinels in his life didn’t like to slow down like that. For Nick it was a refuge from the continual sensory onslaught of the world. Once they were breathing slowly in sync, Nick closed his eyes when Tony did and shortly afterward felt a tugging through his shields. It was as if Tony was laying out a string for him to follow and all he had to do was pull himself along. When he felt a soft sort of pressure change, he opened his eyes to see them sitting cross-legged in a clearing in a blue jungle.  
  
Tony laughed and gave him a big thumbs up. “Great job! You got it on the first try!”  
  
“Wait, why can I hear you?”  
  
“You can hear me? That’s great! I figured that might be possible here, but I wasn’t sure so I didn’t want to say anything. We’re on a different plane of existence here. The physical laws and realities of our world don’t apply.”  
  
Nick was a bit overwhelmed at suddenly being able to have a conversation in a way he used to consider normal. His world wasn't clouded with the background white noise here and his other senses were even and comfortable. He didn’t know what to do next now that they were here, so he waited for Tony’s lead.  
  
“Now that we’re here, would you like to meet your spirit animal? You haven’t seen it yet, right?”  
  
“No. I think I’ve been too overwhelmed with the normal world to be open to seeing anything beyond that. I had a couple flashes of something out of the corner of my eye when I was in the hospital, but never could focus on it.”  
  
Tony smiled wide. “Well, lucky for you then that spirit animals love me. I’m sure I can help you call him.”  
  
Suddenly there was a black wolf standing next to Tony. “Here’s my guy. He’s like a giant puppy.” Tony petted him a moment before returning his focus to Nick.  
  
“Ok, focus on the feeling you had when you thought you saw something in the hospital. I’ll help you bring that feeling forward and connect to your spirit animal that way.”  
  
Nick concentrated and remembered those couple of fleeting moments. After several seconds, he felt a small disturbance of air to his left, and turned to find himself looking a cougar in the eyes. Instead of surprise, Nick felt a feeling of coming home. Here was a part of himself manifested in front of him, and he found comfort touching the soft fur on the big cat’s neck. He continued petting him as Tony chuckled.  
  
“Looks like you’ve got one that’s the strong silent type,” Tony smirked. “Very appropriate, don’t you think?”  
  
Nick was so shocked by Tony’s brevity that he couldn’t help but laugh. In fact he couldn’t stop laughing then, and it took on a bit of a hysterical edge. He buried his face in the cougar’s fur and took deep breaths as he calmed down. Hell, he’d gotten this far. His spirit animal was here giving him support. Maybe he could do this sentinel thing after all.  
  
Nick straightened and was about to ask Tony about how present spirit animals could be in the earthly plane, when Tony got a strange expression on his face. Nick turned to look where Tony was just in time to see a hawk gracefully swoop out of the trees. He circled them once and then landed on Nick’s knee. Nick didn’t know what to do, so he stayed still staring at the creature.  
  
“Well, now,” Tony said quietly. “Have you ever seen that animal before?”  
  
Nick didn’t hesitate to answer. “No. Never. Is it another spirit animal?”  
  
“Yeah, it is. And if I had to guess, I would say it’s the spirit animal of your guide.”  
  
Nick looked up sharply at that. His guide? He had a guide, and it’s spirit animal found him here?  
  
“I—I didn’t even think there would be a guide out there for me. I’m not a whole sentinel. I don’t think any guide would want to bond with me.”  
  
Tony hummed as his suspicions of Nick’s insecurities were confirmed.  
  
“Nick, you’re perfectly capable of bonding, and providing everything your guide might need. Now you have proof of that. Your guide is out there and has already connected to you in some way. Has anyone you’ve met since coming online felt different to you? Have you felt a connection to anyone? Usually when sentinels and guides find their true match, they both feel it immediately.”  
  
“No, Tony. I’m sure if I would have felt something like that, I would have known.”  
  
“Huh,” Tony paused a long time, clearly deep in thought, but then seemed to snap back into action. “Let’s head back. A little more of this kind of practice and you might be able to call your spirit animal to appear in corporeal form on our plane.”  
  
Nick just nodded and closed his eyes to reach a meditative state once again, as Tony instructed. A few breaths later, he was smelling the cabin around them again, and opened his eyes to the living room. Nick wasn’t sure what to make of the experience and the fact that he apparently had a guide, so he told Tony he was tired and headed to his room under the guise of taking a nap.  
  
When Nick was gone, Tony went in search of his sentinel, finding him sitting out on the front porch whittling at a small block of scrap wood that probably came from his workshop.  
  
“So, Nick has a guide, and I think they’ve come into contact already.”  
  
Jethro grunted in response, not looking away from his work.  
  
“His guide’s spirit animal paid us a visit on the spirit plane just now. Have any thoughts on who it could be? Because I do.”  
  
“Shit. You’re right.” Jethro sighed as he caught on to Tony’s implication. “I have a phone call to make.”  
  
Jethro stood and leaned in to kiss his guide affectionately before marching inside. He fully intended to get that self-sacrificing idiot here if he had to drag him by the ankle.


	4. Chapter 4

“Grissom,” Gil answered groggily. He checked the clock and saw it was mid-afternoon. He would be getting up soon to head into work anyway, so he wasn’t particularly upset at being woken.  
  
“Gil”  
  
Well, hearing that voice made some of the upset return. Jethro would only be calling him for one reason.  
  
Gil sighed before responding. “You figured it out.”  
  
“Well, it wasn’t very hard to connect the dots when your spirit animal paid Nick a visit while he was spirit walking with Tony today. How long have you known?”  
  
“Since I touched him when we found him in the box. He didn’t seem to recognize me as his guide in return, so I figured giving him time and space to heal would be best.”  
  
“And it didn’t occur to you that having his guide be a part of that healing would help? That having his friend here with him would be reassuring? I’ve listened to him wake from nightmares enough this week to know that having you here could only be a good thing.”  
  
“He’s not fit to bond.”  
  
Jethro interrupted Gil with an actual growl.  
  
“No! No, Jethro. I don’t mean that he doesn’t deserve to bond or isn’t good enough for me or whatever you’re thinking. I’m saying I didn’t want to throw this at him when he was already dealing with so much. How could he make a clear decision about bonding when he had just had his life changed drastically in a couple of significant ways?”  
  
“Gil, you’re really an idiot for a guy that has a doctorate. Nothing says you have to bond immediately. Didn’t it occur to you that you might be helpful to Nick right now? You’re the only one that he’s tolerated touch from since the hospital, you know. He still flinches away from Tony’s pats on the back after a full week with us.”  
  
“You think Tony can’t feel the longing and jealousy that bleeds off him when he sees us interacting? And what’s worse is he’s all but admitted that he doesn’t deserve a guide because he’s not whole. He thinks he’s inferior as a sentinel and a man, and one of his closest friends, who just happens to be a guide, is pulling away from him. You’re confirming every fear and insecurity he has by your absence, and I’m not going to sit by and let you two do this to yourselves.”  
  
Gil didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted Nick more than anything, but he didn’t want to push him into something he might not want once he gets some time to adjust to his new life.  
  
Jethro sighed when he got no response. “Are you really going to make me do all the talking here? Look, don’t even bother to work yourself up to whatever argument you’re thinking now. Just get your ass out here. I’m serious, Gil. You’re only hurting him by staying away at this point. Not to mention hurting yourself. You know Tony and I wouldn’t let you take advantage of him. He’s a strong kid, and he’s doing really well. Come out and see for yourself.”  
  
With that, Gibbs hung up. Gil huffed out a breath and lay back in bed, thoughts spinning. Just when he was hoping he could ignore the whole conversation, his phone buzzed with an incoming text.  
  
_Get me your flight into. I’ll pick you up._  
  
Gil smiled ruefully. Leave it to Jethro to get the last word in at all times.  
  
That night at work, Gil had tried not to act like he was agitated, but he guessed he didn’t completely succeed by how everyone seemed to be keeping busy and out of his way. Catherine knocked on his office door close to the end of shift, and he looked up to see an all too knowing expression on her face.  
  
“I got the email about you taking a week of vacation starting tomorrow.”  
  
“Yes, that’s true.”  
  
Catherine sighed, probably frustrated he hadn’t fallen for her bait so easily.  
  
“Are you sure a week is enough? I mean, you might want more time together after you bond.”  
  
That had Gil looking up from the report he was reading abruptly.  
  
“I’m just going to visit. Jethro thought it might help.”  
  
“You want to bond with him though.”  
  
Gil blew out a breath. “Yes. Yes, ok? But I’m not going to push that on him right now. Maybe not ever. He needs to be able to make the choice himself when he’s had time to adjust.”  
  
Catherine shook her head sadly. “You know, he’s been emailing me this week. The only person he asks about specifically is you. He’s your sentinel, isn’t he?”  
  
“Yeah, he is,” Gil said softly. “He’s everything I could have ever wanted in a partner and sentinel, but I can’t just tell him that. He was so out of it in the hospital, he didn’t even realize I was his guide even though we were in physical contact almost the entire time. I’m not going to guilt him into a bond with me just because I know something he doesn’t.”  
  
“I’m sure I’m not the first person to tell you this, or you wouldn’t be getting on a plane to Virginia tomorrow. Our Nicky is strong, and I think you’re not giving him enough credit to know his own mind.”  
  
That pulled a small smile from Gil.  
  
“Thanks, Cath. I probably needed to hear that.”  
  
She laughed lightly. “Go get our boy. Whatever happens, it can only be good for you both.”

~~~~~

Gil had decided to rent a car and drive himself from the airport. He tried to focus on the beautiful scenery of the Blue Ridge Mountains around him, but it didn’t do much to distract him from his nerves. As he pulled into the drive up to the cabin and parked, he made a last desperate attempt to shore up his thinned shields. If he didn’t get himself under control, he wouldn’t be any help to Nick.  
  
Jethro was sitting out on the front porch, waiting for him. Gil pulled his bag out of the car and headed toward him.  
  
“Tony’s in the kitchen working on supper. Nick is in the living room. Meditating, I think. He’s had some sensory spikes today.”  
  
Gil nodded and stepped inside. He set his bag down near the door and moved to the living room, seeing Nick sitting cross-legged on a rug in front of the couch. He was shirtless and wearing loose knit pants. Gil could see some raw irritated looking spots of skin, and figured touch was one of the senses he was having problems with today. He was a bit alarmed at Nick’s appearance. Clearly he had been shaving his body hair and head in an attempt to get relief from his touch sensitivity. He also looked thinner, and Gil wondered if it was just from general anxiety and stress, or if he was having issues with taste as well and it was affecting his appetite.  
  
Gil took several steps closer, not knowing if he should interrupt or leave Nick alone.  
  
“You know, I didn’t realize it at the time, but in the hospital I started to recognize the vibrations of your footsteps.” Nick broke the silence and opened his eyes to look up at Gil. “Yours were the first I learned, and I didn’t figure out I was doing it until I came here.”  
  
Gil sucked in a breath at hearing Nick speak. It was beautiful and soothing in ways he hadn’t anticipated. His Texas drawl was thicker and his enunciation less precise, but his voice was the same Gil had come to love.  
  
“Why are you here?” Nick stood, gracefully as ever, to face his friend.  
  
Gil knew Nick had been progressing with learning ASL, so he used it now.  
  
_“To see you. To help. To talk.”_  
  
“Talk, huh? Let’s start with that. I have a question for you.”  
  
Gil couldn’t help but be thrown by Nick’s direct approach, but nodded in assent.  
  
“What is your spirit animal?”  
  
That was probably the last question Gil had been anticipating, and he took a half step back in surprise. Looking up at Nick’s earnest expression, he didn’t need empathy to see the longing and hope held there amidst the fear of rejection.  
  
_“Hawk,”_ Gil signed.  
  
Nick’s hand flew to his mouth and he half turned laughing bitterly. “Of course! Of course it is. I’ve wanted you for years, and couldn’t have you because I never wanted to interfere with your bond with your sentinel. Now I’m a sentinel and it turns out you’re my guide and I’m not even sure if I can bond, much less if any guide would want to be stuck with me now.”  
  
“You know, I researched bonding and sentinel and guide true matches yesterday after your spirit animal came to me. I knew it was probably you considering you were the only person, guide or otherwise, that I could stand to be close to in the hospital. That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know if I can fully bond. I can only imprint four senses on a guide. I don’t want to trap anyone in a partially formed bond. I won’t do that to you.”

 _“Stop. Please,”_ Gil signed. _“Stop putting yourself down like that. All I’ve been able to think about since you were taken was how I’d missed my chance with you. Now that I have you back, and I know you’re my sentinel, I’m not letting you talk yourself out of this. If it is a partial bond, we’ll figure it out. I want you any way I can have you. You are not broken to me. You’re everything—“_  
  
Nick interrupted him by shaking his head quickly, brows furrowed. “You’re going too fast. I didn’t understand even half of that.”  
  
Gil didn’t bother trying to find pen and paper to write down those words that were ultimately inadequate for how he felt about the man standing before him. Instead he stepped close, stopping almost toe to toe with his sentinel. He lifted his hand, folding down his middle two fingers and leaving his thumb, pointer, and pinky splayed wide. He pressed is hand to Nick’s chest, not breaking eye contact.  
  
There was no mistaking his intention now. Nick’s eyes grew moist as he looked down and covered Gil’s hand where it lay on over his heart.  
  
“I love you too, Gil.” Nick’s voice was thick with emotion.  
  
Gil leaned in and Nick met him in a soft kiss. It wasn’t urgent with the want the pair had harbored for each other for years. It was comfort, and relief that they were both alive and together, and full of the promise of a deep intimacy that comes from love that blossoms out of a long friendship. There was time for passion later. Right now they had each other, and that was so much more than either man had dared to believe they would ever have.  
  
Nick broke the kiss first, pulling Gil into a tight embrace, and burying his head in the crook of his neck, breathing deep. They stood, just holding each other for long minutes. Gil reveled in the feeling of his sentinel’s mind already opening to his. He didn’t push, but Nick’s instincts were already subconsciously working toward a bond. Gil simply accepted it. He couldn’t deny Nick this bond, and he couldn’t deny he wanted it for himself any longer either. They didn’t need to rush to complete it right now, but he was confident they would in their own time.

Nick abruptly pulled back and turned just before Jethro entered the room. Gil realized he must have felt his footsteps through the floor.  
  
“Supper’s on.” Jethro signed as he spoke. He had taken up the habit to help Nick learn faster.  
  
“I’ll go grab a shirt and be right there.” Nick turned to go to toward the bedrooms, but hesitated a moment as Jethro began speaking and signing again.  
  
“How are your senses?”  
  
Nick couldn’t help blushing a bit as he confessed. “They feel more stable now than they ever have.”  
  
Jethro smiled and gave Gil a significant look before leaving to go to the kitchen. Gil followed, while Nick continued on his way to grab a shirt. Gil took a seat at the dining table, and eyed the spread curiously. The menu consisted of grilled chicken, baked potatoes, and green beans.  
  
“Sorry,” Tony said, as he brought the last of the dishes to the table. “We planned a bland meal considering how Nick’s day was going. I have some leftover pie from the other night for dessert though.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just grateful for your hospitality and what you’ve been doing to help Nick.”  
  
Nick entered and sat down next to Gil, moving his chair close enough that he could reach out and place his hand on his thigh from time to time. They had a pleasant meal. Nick was mostly quiet, but seemed to follow along with their small talk. Jethro and Gil were signing as they spoke to help Nick feel included. When they were all enjoying a slice of pie, Jethro paused to make an announcement.  
  
“We’re heading back to D.C. tonight. We want you both to stay here as long as you’d like.”  
  
“I didn’t come here to kick you guys out. What about training?” Gil responded quickly.  
  
Tony smiled as he spoke and Jethro translated. “We wouldn’t want to stick around in your space while you guys are bonding.” Gil coughed at the unexpected frankness.  
  
“Really,” Tony continued with a smirk. “You don’t think we saw where this was going? Bonding will do more for stabilizing your senses, Nick, than staying out here with Jeth and me for a month. Once you guys decide your next step, you can pursue further training based on your needs.”  
  
Nick cleared his throat. “I can’t thank you both enough for what you’ve done for me.”  
  
Jethro just nodded his acceptance, and Tony grinned and reached over to slap Nick on the back.  
  
“Anytime, man!”  
  
Nick didn’t even need to flinch away. He was already steadier than he ever thought he could be, and they hadn’t even bonded yet.  
  
After dessert was cleared and Tony and Jethro had packed up, they all said their goodbyes.  
  
“Thank you for kicking my ass to get me here,” Gil whispered to Jethro as he gave him a quick hug that was a bit uncharacteristic for both of them, but spoke of the depth of Gil’s gratitude.  
  
Tony and Nick had already agreed to video chats so they both could practice their ASL and keep in touch. Gil and Nick stood on the front porch as Jethro and Tony drove into the evening. As they watched the taillights recede, a heavy silence settled over them. It wasn’t tense, but it was expectant.  
  
They moved back into the cabin and settled into each other’s arms on the couch staring quietly into the dark fireplace. Eventually Nick leaned in to nuzzle Gil’s jawline.  
  
“I’m ready, Gil.”  
  
Gil turned to look at him and signed, _“you sure?”_  
  
“Yeah. If you still want me, then, yeah. I already feel pulled to you and I don’t think we need to wait any longer.”  
  
Gil didn’t need to say anything then, because his actions could speak for them. He knew bonding would come easily if they both let instinct lead, so he didn’t worry too much about the details. He leaned up and kissed Nick with more passion than he had displayed earlier. They both gave back and forth for a few minutes, until Gil let Nick take the lead, knowing he would need to be imprinting his senses completely.  
  
Nick tasted his mouth for a while before pulling away. “Bedroom.”  
  
They stood and Gil had the presence of mind to grab the bag he had stashed by the door a couple of hours prior. It was a reminder of how fast they were moving, and Gil paused for a moment before he realized that they had been building to this for years, not hours. Though both their lives were changed by the events in that box, they would make a new way together.  
  
By the time Gil reached the bedroom Nick had been using, he found the younger man already shirtless and seated on the bed. He drank in the sight, noting that his skin already looked like the irritation had faded. Gil let his shields thin and drank in the desire and love he felt already flowing from Nick freely.

He efficiently removed his clothes before slowly walking toward Nick, stopping just inside his spread knees. Gil was comfortable in his skin, even though his body was so different from that of his sentinel. He waited for Nick to make the next move.

Nick looked him up and down, then slowly brought his hands to curl around the backs of Gil’s thighs, pulling him into a seated position straddling Nick’s lap. Gil relaxed as Nick’s arms wrapped around him and he leaned in to taste the dip of his collar bone. Nick licked and sucked his way from there up the column of Gil’s neck until he nipped his earlobe, humming audibly in satisfaction.

Gil smiled and took a moment to kiss Nick hard before pushing at his chest, making him fall back on the bed. Gil climbed off Nick’s lap then and felt his warm brown eyes follow him as he crawled up and lay on his back in the middle of the bed.

Nick took the hint and stood to shuck his pants quickly and then crawl to lay his body over his guide’s. They both groaned at all the skin contact, and Gil smiled as he heard Nick chuckle. Nick must have felt the vibrations. Nick pulled back to look down on Gil with a wide smile.

“I never thought I'd have this with you.”

Gil smiled back easy and open, but couldn't help himself from one last moment of doubt.

He signed. _“Tell me if you need to stop?”_

Nick just nodded, “not likely, but thank you.”

Then Nick set to exploring Gil's body in earnest. Hands and lips traveled every angle from the top of his head, slowly moving south. Gil had removed his body hair after coming online, because despite his independence he always hoped he would bond when he found his sentinel. He was glad of that now, considering his sentinel may always struggle with touch sensitivity.

When Nick reached his cock, it was hard and sensitive. Gil was barely able to keep control as Nick licked and sucked at the shaft, tasting without really intending to pleasure, but pleasuring nonetheless. Gil concentrated on his shields for a moment to stave off orgasm. He could feel how open he was to Nick, and Nick to him in return, and he could already feel a connection building between them that would forever weave their shields together.

By the time Nick had traversed down to his feet, and was encouraging him to roll over, Gil was blissed out on both the worshipful attention and the heavy cloud of emotion passing between them.

Nick continued his exploration, not taking too much time in any particular spot until he reached Gil’s ass, and licked a stripe over his hole. The resulting full body shudder Gil couldn't hold back encouraged Nick to spend several minutes licking at Gil’s hole. Gil had dissolved into almost constant moans now, and was afraid he would come before Nick ever got inside him at this rate.

For as much as the tension built, however, Gil wanted just as much to climax with his sentinel. He concentrated on the continued feeling of weaving their shields together, and was able to hold off. Finally, Nick rolled him onto his back once again with a satisfied hum and spread Gil's legs so he could settle between them.

Nick found a bottle of lube he must have stashed on the bed earlier, and soon he shifted his weight to gently probe slick fingers around Gil’s entrance. Gil was more than ready for this and relaxed into the penetration easily. It didn't take long for Nick to be three fingers deep with Gil pushing himself onto them enthusiastically.

Afraid Nick was getting lost in the sensation, and impatient to get his sentinel inside him, Gil placed his hands on either side of Nick’s face and spoke, “please.”

He knew there would be no mistaking his meaning, reading his lips for that simple statement. He was rewarded when Nick slowly pulled his hand away and slicked himself up. He lined up the head of his thick cock, and slowly pushed in, not stopping until he was seated as deep as he could go.

Gil was so overwhelmed by the intense pleasure he was feeling himself and being fed through the growing bond, that he could do nothing for a moment but lay back and catch his breath.

Then Nick pulled slowly back and thrust forward gently. It felt amazing, but it wasn't enough, so Gil curled his foot around Nick’s thigh in encouragement. It didn't take much as Nick was already shaking with need.

Nick set up a steady pace after that, both of them moaning in delight at the sensations creating a feedback loop of pleasure through the bond. Just when Gil felt he couldn't hold back the pleasure building any longer, Nick practically growled, “Come, Gil. Come with me.”

Gil couldn't hold back if he tried and he let go with a cry and came harder than he could ever remember, at the same time feeling Nick’s warm come filling him. Nick kept himself from falling on Gil, supporting himself on his elbows as they both lay shuddering and panting through the aftershocks.

Gil felt their shields snap into place as they came back to themselves. Both changed and woven together in ways that would support each other in their gifts.

Nick surprised Gil then by leaning in to lick every drop of come from his stomach and chest, seemingly savoring every taste. He figured it was a bit of a sentinel thing, but it was also extremely arousing. By the time Nick had finished and was kissing Gil senseless, the taste of him still on his tongue, Gil was half hard again already.

When they broke off the kiss to catch their breath, he tapped Nick’s shoulder, pointing down to his cock showing renewed interest already.

Nick just chuckled. “I know what you’re thinking, and I'll prove to you that you aren't the old man you think you are.”

Gil smiled. The fears and insecurities of earlier in the day a distant memory, and a new calm and reassurance had settled over him. They were whole together in ways Gil hadn't even known he was missing. He sighed as Nick carefully pulled out and wrapped himself around his guide. They lay in silence a few moments, both basking in the feeling of the new bond.

“I don't feel like anything is missing from the bond.” Nick hesitated for a brief moment. “Do you?”

“No,” Gil said emphatically, shaking his head for emphasis. He tried to think of words he could sign to tell Nick exactly how he felt. After a moment he moved so Nick could clearly see him.  
  
_“You are mine. You are perfect.”_  
  
By the way Nick ducked his head, and placed a kiss on Gil’s shoulder, he knew he understood. Nick didn’t say anything for a while. Just as Gil was starting to drift toward sleep, Nick moved. Taking the arm wrapped around Gil’s chest and forming his hand with the two middle fingers down, other three fingers stretched out, placing it over Gil’s heart.  
  
Gil’s breath caught in his throat for a moment at the depth of love clearly being pushed at him through the bond. He knew Nick would feel the vibrations through his chest and understand what his response would be, so he spoke softly.  
  
“I love you too, Nicky.”  
  
Gil let sleep take him then, but Nick stayed awake feeling Gil’s heartbeat through his chest as they lay spooned together. As he began to drift off himself, he realized he wasn’t afraid of waking up this time. Despite everything that had happened, they had found a bond that was perfect for them, and Nick couldn’t regret any of it if it led them here. The anxiety that had plagued Nick since he had been in the box was gone; replaced with a love so deep, he knew he would always be in awe of it.

 


End file.
